i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize