he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
