yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The feeling are messing with the penis
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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