Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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