How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
