so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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