i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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