Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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