i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
