so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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