dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
