hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize