I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
