I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
