Got a toothbrush?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
