Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This baby is an asshole
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
