there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i think my cat just said my name.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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