Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
