He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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