I hope mine doesn't look like that
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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