He told me they were just razor bumps!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
