I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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