ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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