Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize