Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
