You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
