LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
