sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
