arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
