i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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