At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Send help, water and tortillas.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
