hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
