i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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