I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I CAN MOONWALK!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
