he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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