You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
