Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
