Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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