YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
