i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
