I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
