You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
