man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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