You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
