Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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