Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
