the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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