I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
