Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
