Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
