i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
