Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
