Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
