i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
