rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
