if you like me you must not know who I am
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
