my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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