New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
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