Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize